Day 10: Making A Case For Stubbornness.
Today, my sister was telling me about the Big Brother Naija show. Anytime she talks about it, she gets very animated and excited. Her voice rises an octave, she’s wide eyed and you can see an obvious twinkle in her eyes. She’s smiling so hard and her words are falling over themselves because of how fast she’s talking. It’s so cute to experience her like this. Anyway, another season of Big Brother Naija (BBN) is just around the corner and she’s been giving me the background gist because I barely watch TV.
Her favorite star from this reality show is the winner of the last season. Apparently, one of the reasons my sister likes the lady who won is because she’s had such a tough life and she has been able to make something out of it because of her stubbornness. And as my sister was speaking, a random thought popped into my head- you need a healthy level of stubbornness to be successful at anything in life. Let’s unpack this.
When we were growing up, my father sold me a dream. He’s always had the opportunity to work with really successful young people and he wanted that life for his children. I remember him speaking life into me when I was younger. He would describe a life of ambition and success to me and to him, the path to getting here was education and hardwork. I still agree with him for the most part but what he failed to tell me was that life wasn’t linear. To my father’s thinking, success had a waterfall approach. All you had to do to be successful was go to school, come out with excellent grades which in turn would make companies chase you. You’d get hired by a big shot company and earn a lot of money. Then you continue to invest in yourself as you climb up the corporate career ladder.
Unfortunately, things happened differently for me. I graduated with an okay grade. Realized I hated my B.Sc and after a couple of detour, I made a major life decision that was so incredibly hard but ended in sweet, incredible results. My life has not been linear and I have realized that the path to success is an agile path. Life has not even half as hard as my sister’s favorite BBN star but I have noticed there’s a central theme required to win in life- you have to be stubborn about your goals.
You have to be relentless in your pursuit of success. And this pursuit does not negate empathy for others along the way. You have to stubbornly pursue that thing you deeply believe in. Say you’ve decided that writing is your life’s true passion as an example, but you are the only one who believes in this path. You alone see the vision. It is your sole responsibility to run with your vision, because it’s yours. Sulking because your family doesn’t get it isn’t really going to do much- and I say this as someone who has lived through this- focus on the prize. Success has many friends, so they’ll eventually come around. Dilligently chasing your goals also births many fans. There’s a level of respect you accord from reluctant supporters simply because they see how diligent you’ve been in your endeavors.
Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before unknown men- Proverbs 22:29 (NKJV)
You have to stubbornly believe that the path to anything remotely beneficial in life is not a linear path. Day to day living isn’t linear, how much more the attainment of success. You’ll try things out and you might fail but the sweet spot is in the lessons you’ll learn on this path of discovery. You’ll learn about yourself. About your capabilities and limit. You’ll pivot along the way. You’ll pause to rest so you don’t burn out but what you won’t do is quit. Because by now you’ve come to the realization that there is a healthy level of stubbornness that is required to achieve success.
My best friend is starting a business soon and we’ve been talking about the concept of failure. I don’t believe people who have tried something failed. I also believe in having the sense to know when to quit. A balanced approach is having the ability to pivot, that is a superpower that we should all have. In my opinion, quiting is closing shop and going home to sulk. Pivoting on the other hand, is starting something, realizing it’s not working, taking a step back to rest, to strategize. And then coming back to re start something again. Because you see, when you pivot, you are not starting afresh, from scratch. You are building something new on top of the experiences you’ve just learnt. There’s power in pivot.
So rest today but don’t quit. be stubborn about your goals and it’s attainment. Pivot if you must. But there’s so much to learn and experience in the journey and you’ll be doing yourself. a great disservice if you don’t see your goals through.
During the conversation with my best friend, I sent her this video and it blessed her so much. I hope it does same for you. I hope it strenghtens your convinction on your path and urges you to keep going. There’s reward in being stubborn headed about your goals and I hope you have the temerity to build that muscle, today.
Love & Light.
