Day 11: Rest.

Rest. This word has been on my mind for the entire week. It sounds familiar yet foreign, to me at least. I sleep and wake up, yet it doesn’t feel like rest. I take breaks on a workday to rest yet it feels like a chore. My sleep feels like an activity to be done at night because my body demands me of it. Have I forgotten how to rest? But how does one even forget how to rest? Is there only one way to rest? Is one only resting when they are seated languidly on the couch, book in hand; or is it when one is on the bed giving in to the sweet slumber?

As a high achiever, I realize that I may have forgotten how to rest. I acknowledge my role in teaching my body how not to rest. Like Beyonce, I have been running but unlike her, not to my love, but to a destination that my mind’s eye cannot even fully fathom yet. The figure that I am chasing is still an idea in my mind’s eye so I wonder, why do I hold my body hostage in this manner? Why can’t I just fully shut down when I should?

I have been working on teaching myself discipline. One of the reasons why i started this challenge was because I wanted to see if I could be disciplined enough to stick with a routine. So far, I have missed just one day. Yet, my body continues to scream for rest. On Wednesday, I was ready for the weekend to start. Today’s Saturday and I am already weary for the new week to start. Every Thursday, without fail, I wonder why humanity hasn’t come together as a collective to either fight capitalism or reduce the work week to 4 days. My point is, I’m always tired. I sleep, I wake, yet I am tired.

As I write this, I think rest is more of a mental activity. Rest is being able to shut off your brain and relax. Even if it’s not you sleeping, is your mind at rest. Do you feel at peace? Is your mental state thriving? sSame way stress is mostly mental, rest is also mental.

So now I am committing to rest my mind when I am stressed. To truly relax my conscious mind when I sleep so my subsconscious can also be at rest. I am leaning towards intuitive rest now. I used to try to rationalize rest, but not anymore. I have come to realize that the body truly does keep the score and if we are not careful we will teach our bodies how not to truly rest. We will forget how to unwind.

I’m re-learning my hobbies again. I am learning to listen to my own body and rest when she says to pause and recalibrate. There’s laziness and there’s rest, though and the dividing line is thin. I know this fact. But all my life I have been active and I doubt I truly know how to rest. I am learning how to, for the first time and I hope to find it and hold on to it for the rest of my lifetime.

So here’s your cue to rest today. Hustle is tough and life is tougher, you can’t afford to struggle with rest too. So rest, my love.

Love & Light.