Day 2: The Balm that is Journaling.

I got my first diary when I was in S.S.3(I was a high school senior) and it was gifted to me by my dad. At first I didn’t know what to write so I started noting down random things. I was a very quiet child while growing up and didn’t usually have a lot to say, but as soon as I got gifted this diary, it was as if I also got the gift of opinion. Slowly, I started writing stuff down randomly.

I took this behavior with me into university. Full of naivety, I would journal not caring that someone could easily find my secrets if they got a hold of my diary. A lot of the time, before I’d even exhausted the pages of the first one, my dad would gift me another, and another.

This carried on well into my adult years until the unthinkable happened- someone read my journal at work. It was such an invasion of privacy and it was made even worse that he didn’t feel repentant, so I stopped journaling for a while; until recently.

I have found journaling to be a balm for my mind. It is not just a note where I go to catalogue all the trauma and negativity I have experienced over the years. Rather I document the good and the bad. I mentally file away memories and emotions onto paper. Its memorabilia. Its therapy. I can pick up my digital journal and I can clearly trace my growth. I can see my triggers and patterns plain as day. I know how to manage a similar situation because I can go back to a time, on paper, when I navigated it.

I have found journaling to be my best way to combat stress. On a sunny day when I am battling a difficult scenario, my next thought is ‘‘I can’t wait to document this’’. It’s how I explore several topics I am interested in but do not want to put it out to the general public. It’s how I deconstruct some of lifes’ complex concepts. Journaling is how I have been able to deal with the craziness of mankind. I like being able to put on paper how I feel and see the words jump out at me. Journaling is how I define my thought process.

I write about everything. I segment my thoughts into folders and I fill them all up with my musings on different topics. In my secret place, as I journal, there is no judgement, only acceptance of self. I meet myself, I sit with myself, with the woman I am becoming and I accept her. I observe her, the evolution of her. I see it when I read every line which I have documented and I muse on whether or not I like her. If I don’t, then I fix up, but if I do, I give myself a mental pat on the back. Regardless of the outcome, one thing is certain- that I will journal through it.

I have found journaling to be the balm for my mind and I hope I never stop. I want to get older and when I sift through my journals, be able to see who I was before that point. Because of journaling, I can track my growth progress.

I hope I never stop documenting my life in real time, this way. I hope you pick up the habit of journaling. You’ll be better for it, I can assure you.

Love & light.