Day 9: On Showing up.
I contemplated whether or not I really had to publish today’s article. I said to myself ‘it’s not like anyone will beat you for not showing up today’. And I am right, no one will beat me but i’ll know that I didn’t show up. If I took the excuse and not shown up today, that would have been my excuse every other day. Even when I’m not half as tired as I feel today. So here’s another attempt at hacking discipline.
I have been contemplating the concept of self governing and holding one’s self accountable for a while now. Take this writing challenge for an example, it’s entirely self-imposed. I have a demanding 9–5, yet I’ll continue to show up here every day till day 30 because I made this committment to myself. Because I am trying to become someone who’s accountable to herself, first.
I admire people who are able to stick to a set time table for themselves. Imagine you wake up and you have a routine. You know you are having oats and banana for breakfast. There’s chicken stew and rice for lunch and you’ll have pasta for early dinner. You go to the gym five times a week and the only chance you’ll miss a day is if you are sick. I cannot relate to this level of self governance. I envy it and I want it for myself. The ability to not always be solely inspired by my moods or how I am feeling.
A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine shared his daily schedule on social media. He literally had his timetable on paper and pinned up on his wall. I asked him how he is able to stay motivated even on off days and he said to me, ‘we forget that our feelings don’t control us, we control our feelings’. So if you don’t ‘feel’ like doing something it’s probably because you don’t want to do it and you are using how you feel as an excuse. Nobody feels motivated 100% of the time but it is our responsibility to keep ourselves accountable. To remind ourslf of the why. And even if there’s no why, simply doing something because you purposed to do it is incredible. You begin to realize how much more you can do if you just ignored your own excuses and did it.
I am learning to do hard things this season. I have been doing hard things at work. Showing up here every single day is new and tough for me, yet I power through. Yesterday, I looked at my goals for the remaining half of this year and there’s so many new, difficult things that I have planned out. Do I feel like doing them? Nope. Why? Because I know that it will stretch me so much but i’ll continue to remind myself of my friend’s comment.
In the words of a famous philosopher,’we run things, things don’t run we’, so get up and hold yourself accountable to the things you’ve said you will, today.
Love & light.
