November.
Rest
I went on a 2 weeks leave this month and I learnt something jarring about myself- I do not know how to rest. I thrive on being busy. Some part of my personality is built on being an efficient, productive person hence when rest meant putting everything down, and just existing day to day for a confined period of time, I struggled. It was a foreign concept to me. I think about things from a functional standpoint- you sleep at night so you can have a productive day, you eat so your body has fuel to power you on a daily basis, you work so you have money to eat and jaiye. I have proper thought-out processes behind a lot of activities and even rest made sense- you rest just because you need to recharge. But in the realistic sense of the word, rest is just being.
Before the leave, I had drawn up a list of personal projects that had been suffering because work had eaten up all my time and to my thinking, this time off was the perfect opportunity to attack my goals. Omo! My body was looking at me go off I think, because in the first week, all I could do was just sleep. My routine was wake up, eat, shower, sleep. It’s as if I had been burnt out but didn’t fully allow myself process the concept of being burnt out until I had the space to slow down. Slowing down meant my body could now take it all in and……. it just shut down. My brain just didn’t want to be put to work any further. I didn’t exercise because I couldn’t. At some point, I thought I was sick. I experienced the worse bout of period fatigue, I’ve ever experienced yet. But one week plus a couple of days later, I was slowly getting back to myself.
So what have I been doing? resting. At first, it looked like just eating and sleeping. Then I had capacity to read books. Then I started watching K-dramas (because they have the best plot in my opinion but we’ll get into it later). Then I planned for my future- I wrote a 10 year career plan (this one shocked me because my initial intent was 5 years but I just kept going till I got to 10). I went out more, was present in my friendships and I am happier. I feel ready to tackle capitalism, version 2024.
If you are feeling burnt out, tired, or demotivated, try resting. Your body might be giving you signs that that’s what it needs and you need to listen.
K-Dramas
I started actively watching K-drama this year and I cannot believe it’s taken me this long to join the bandwagon. It was my brother who made me see the light. One day, we were both on our laptops working, him jamming to music as his fingers flew across his keyboard, and me intensely starring at my screen trying to conceptualize a product requirement document for work. Mid-type, he pauses to stare at me and asks what my favorite music currently is. I legit had to pause for almost 5 minutes to think. We were both shocked- him, that I had to actively think about a reply and me, that I didn’t have a ready answer at the tip of my tongue. I didn’t realize how much I had gotten sucked into the hustle culture that all I did was wake up, eat, work, sleep, rinse and repeat. I had become bland. No experiences even fit for a social interaction- and yes, you guessed right- I hadn’t even been doing much social interactions anyway. So when he asked me, it was a wake up call. And somewhere along the journey of rediscovering and finding new leisurely things to enjoy, I started watching Korean films. Initially it was purely out of curiosity and boredom. Most of the usual popular western movie trope had me bored out of my mind and often times were too predicatble. It was clear that I needed to explore films from other categories if I was serious about rejiging my sensory experiences when it came to entertainment.
Since I started, I’ve found that K-dramas tell fascinating stories. The plot, the acting, the story progression, all top tier. My current obsession is Destined with you and it’s really really good. I also have a mild crush on the ridiculously handsome male lead, which I’ve found is perfectly normal. Apparently, male korean actors were molded in a special division of heaven and specifically set apart to grace our screens. That one would have a crush anytime one sees a Korean film is standard procedure at this point; destined to be, if you will.
Asaba-wood/ Nollywood/ Nigerian films on Youtube
My closest friend obsessively watches Nigerian youtube movies. Every time I’m at her house, there’s either a Nollywood film playing or as we like to describe the low budget, sometimes terrible plot & acting ones- Asaba wood. On rare occasions, I’ll randomly go to her house and find her watching a Nollywood film that I end up enjoying. Other times, I’d sit there with her and act as a real life commentator critiquing the film so much so that she sometimes caves and tries another one in hopes that it’s better or at the very least, tolerable. One time when she found one that was mildly entertaining, I searched for it on Youtube when I got home because I was curious about the ending.
What these films have taught me is that there’s a market for almost anything. You just have to find them, tailor your marketing and content to them and they will faithfully engage. Clearly, I’m not their target audience but my friend is and in the grand scheme of things, that’s all that matters here.
Career Planning
During my leave, I unintentionally came up with a 10 year career plan. My initial intent was to draft a 5 year career plan but my path in my mind’s eye was just so clear that I had to continue. That’s something that has happened for me this year- career clarity. I know what I want to do in the short -medium term and apparently even long term. It feels great to know that I am no longer in that season of confusion and anxiety for the future. I know what I want and I can actively take steps to get to where I want to go. I’m glad I did the work these past couple of years that has afforded me this luxury of clarity.
Exploring different things, being open minded, and doing the heavy lifting required to switch industries and roles, taking a pay cut early on; all of these has culminated in this special place I’m now in professionally. I feel light. I’m traveling light nowadays, shedding anxiety and the bulk of imposter syndrome when it comes to my work and my identity and slowly moving into this confident place that feels right. I’m grateful for the journey and feel ready to take flight January. Very much ready to hit the ground running like this.
On Starting Early
Next year I’ll enter the last year of my twenties. Some people say the next year starts the moment you celebrate a new birthday in the current year, while others, people like me, believes it starts by the next birthday in the next year and since this piece is my little corner of the internet, we’ll go with my perspective here ;). I have been reminiscing on my life’s journey, from graduation till now and the overarching theme has been gratitude for starting things early. I’m a doer hence the minute I get the thought to do something, I do it. The current version of me has become lax and is leaning more towards procastination these days but I’d like to revert to the more stoic, proactive version of myself. She served me better.
So far, in my twenties I have had two separate careers in two different industries. I have learnt a skill and started a business (which is now paused because capitalism is after my life and I literally cannot handle anything extra for now). I moved to a different city, started a new life and made new friends (still learning). I have made money, lost a lot of money and have made some of it back. Sometimes, it feels like multiple lives in one especially with the amount of things I’ve been able to achieve so far, but I’m grateful for it all, even more so for doing things early. I highly recommend.
