Your Journey Is Not Random

When you are a multipotentialite with interests spread across board in varying, opposite directions, it’s easy to think they will never converge. You might wonder, ‘what even is the purpose of indulging all of these disparate interests’, but if you give into yourself and you tow the line that self is calling you to follow, you will find that nothing is actually random. In the beginning, it might seem so but the more you press in and press on, you’ll find a sweet melting pot of all or most of the things you’ve ever aspired to pursue.

Personally, I’ve been in this place of in-between lately. It’s like being wedged between a rock and a hard place. But there’s been pockets of joy and sunshine at random places. Rain has fallen through those pockets and I’ve managed to get a glimpse of what life could be soon. How much better things could get. And how things can change within a twinkle of an eye. I should know this to be true as this isn’t my first rodeo on this path of hard, but I’m slowly seeing the sun again in bigger doses. The clouds are clearing and while it’s not full blown sunshine yet, I can see rays of it. You know how after it rains and the heavens no longer bear the weight of rain and the air is heavy with the smell of petrichor, but the sun hasn’t fully broken through the clouds yet. It’s that in-between place where you know that given time, you’ll see the sun, soon. You know that if you climbed a skyscraper, you’d probably see a brighter spot 30 feets in front of you, so all you have to now is wait. This is where I am now and I’ve been introspecting.

You see, my career path has been very interesting and I used to previously think all the things I’ve tried are unrelated. I’m quite utilitarian in the way I do things and function. I like to be practical and I compartmentalize everything. Everything has to be in its nice little box, not cluttered-so I can easily reach into each- but also not in my way. Just stacked neatly in some corner of my brain, but recent events have made me to start spreading these boxes open in front of my mind’s eye.

I consider myself to be a multipotentialite. I am capable of doing multiple things and my interests are diverse. I get bored easily and so on the path to finding self, I have dabbled with a couple of things. I’ve taken several random, unrelated digital courses. My interest itself is very two fold. Professionally, I’m both a creative and a student of science. I want to explore the creative versions of me yet also exist as the corporate, ambitious woman I know I was born to be. And for the longest time, I’ve believed that both versions of me needed to exist in parallel. Side by side, not touching. This has been hard. It’s almost as though I’ve had to divide myself in half- this side for all my creative expressions and this side is the serious, big babe in suit. Recently though, both versions of me have had to intersect. Both women met each other and I did not come undone. I did not unravel, neither did I mess things up. I’ve been put in situations where I’ve had to lean into being a writer and a creative to execute a very professional task that the product babe needed to be done.

So I’ve now been thinking- maybe our journey is not random afterall. There is great gain in pursuing and nurturing every side of you in equal measure. Obviously, as is the nature of life, something’s might require more of you than other things. At another time, you might find yourself walking the path in perfect, balanced harmony. While at some point further down the line, you’ll be able to only fully nurture and pour into just one version while the other parts lay hibernating in the background. And this is even why all versions are important. The fact that when you had the capacity to cater to the full expression of you, you indulged her and so now that you might only have the ability to cater to just one version, the other parts do not fade away. They sit patiently in the background waiting and trusting that given time, you will bring her them to life. So this is the deal- you will have to accept all the parts of yourself, now. Indulge all your interests and expressions when you can without attempting to rationalize the ‘why’ behind it. Just do it!

I always thought that I needed to have a plan for all the sides of me that I knew existed. I thought I needed to sit down and map the path to full expression and that it had to be one after the other. But that was because I was only thinking of expression in one facet. What if all the things I am interested in, the activities that I care about can co-exist. And it does not always have to pander to capitalism. Sometimes all you need for fullness of experience is to lean into your intuitive journey.

There is great contentment in knowing that you walked this journey of life with intentionality, birthing all the versions of you that should have existed. You don’t have to know how things will come together, you only have to trust that they will because they always do. Seemingly random decisions you make now could very much become the metamorphosis of a new trajectory for your life path. This should not make you afraid, rather, it should free you. Knowing that you intuitively know the things you should be doing even if you don’t have them fully fleshed out in black and white yet. The next best thing is to be true to yourself and allow you touch every creative expression, every career pivot, every life changes, every move; whatever it is that you feel yourself convinced to do, do expeditiously even if things aren’t entirely clear yet.

Now, I’m learning to enjoy my passions unfold and nuture them. I try not to overthink things anymore because the testament of my life is that my journey is not random. That there is intersectionality in all the skills, the gifts, the interests and the hobbies that I care about. And even if they don’t intersect, I’m okay with knowing that this is my unique life story. That nothing is random nor out of place. And even if I can’t see how some parts of me will unfold, the versions of me who have met tell me that it will be fine. That it will be okay. That it’s okay to care about multiple disparate things. My journey is not random and I’m now leaning more into doing everything that my mind conceives to do.

I hope you too, look within, and become all that you were meant to be. It might not make sense now but trust the journey and your intuition and watch your journey unravel beautifully.